A young Southern boy goes off to college at Clemson University, but about1/3 way through The semester, he has foolishly squandered what money his parents gave him.
Then he gets an idea. He calls his Redneck father. "Dad," he says,
"you won't believe the wonders that modern education are coming up with!
Why, they actually have a program here that will teach Old Blue how to talk!"
"That's absolutely amazing!" his father says. "How do I get him in
that program?"
"Just send him down here with $1000," the boy says, "I'll get him
into the course."
So, his father sends the dog and the $1000. About 2/3 way through
the semester, the money runs out. The boy calls his father again.
"So how's Old Blue doing, son?" his father asks.
"Awesome, dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just
won't believe this - they've had such good results with this program, that they have implemented a new one to teach the animals how to READ!"
"READ!?" says his father, "No kidding! What do I have to do to get
him in that program?" "Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class. " His father sends the money. The boy has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out that the dog can neither talk nor read. So he shoots the dog. When he gets home, his father is all excited. "Where's Old Blue? I just can't wait to see him talk and read something!"
"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. This morning, when I
got out of the shower, Old Blue was in the living room kicking back in the recliner, reading the morning paper, lickin' himself like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still messin' around with that little redhead who lives on that dirt Road outside town?'The father says, "I hope you SHOT that lyin' son of a gun!" "I sure did, Dad!" "That's my boy!"