A man appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates. St. Peter asked: "You seem like a decent fellow, but have you ever done anything of particular merit?"

The man replied: "Well, I can think of one thing." He continued: "Once, on a trip to the Black Hills in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of high-testosterone bikers, who were acting in a very threatening way to a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest, meanest looking, most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him up on the back side of his head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground, and for good measure, kicked some dirt on his boots. Then I yelled, 'Now back off, biker boy, or you'll answer to me!'"

St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?"

"Just a couple minutes ago."