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The Chip Board Archive 13

SOME MONDAY MORNING HUMOR...NCR

Reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman: �What is the best thing about being 104?� She replied, �No peer pressure.�

On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students. He stressed one rule: �The female dorm is off-limits for male students, and the male dorm for females. Anyone who breaks this rule will be fined $20. Anyone caught a second time will be fined $60. Third offense, $180. Questions?� A young man raised his hand. �How much is a season pass?�

A tough old cowboy counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning.

The grandson did this religiously to the age of 103. When he died, he left 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren, and a 15 foot crater where the crematorium used to be.

A guy walks into a bar with a pair of jumper cables hanging around his neck. The bartender gives him a look and says gruffly, � All right, pal, I�ll let you stay, but don�t start anything.

These two green beans are crossing the freeway when one of them is hit by an 18-wheeler. His friend scrapes him up and rushes him to the hospital. After hours of surgery, the doctor says, � I have good news and bad news.� The healthy green bean says, �Okay, give me the good news first.� �Well, he�s going to live.� �So, what�s the bad news?� � The bad news is he�ll be a vegetable for the rest of his life.�

A woman goes to the drugstore and asks for arsenic. �What do you want arsenic for?� the pharmacist asks. �I want to kill my husband,� she replies. �He�s having an affair with another woman.� �I can�t sell you arsenic to kill your husband,� says the pharmacist, �even if he is cheating.� The woman pulls out a picture of her husband with the pharmacist�s wife. The druggist turns pale and replies, �Oh, I didn�t realize you had a prescription.�

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SOME MONDAY MORNING HUMOR...NCR
rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl
Very funny Ralph vbg vbg

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