Thanks to all my friends who sent me such important emails in 2004!
It's so wonderful that you included me in your quest to inform!

Because of all of you I stopped drinking Coca-Cola after I found out
from you that it's good for removing toilet stains.

I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with a disease.

I smell awful, but thank goodness I stopped using deodorant because you said it causes cancer.

I don't leave my car in any parking lot even though I sometimes have
to walk about seven blocks, because you said that someone might drug
me with a perfume sample and then try to rob me.

I also stopped answering the phone because you said that they will ask
me to dial a stupid number and then I get a high phone bill with calls
to Uganda, Singapore, Tokyo and maybe the Mars Rover.

I stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because you told me they are
nothing more than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers
that are bred in a lab so that places like McDonalds can sell their Big Macs.

I also stopped drinking anything out of a can - you said that I will
get sick from the rat faeces and urine.

When I go to parties, I now don't mix with anybody - you said that
someone will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

However, the police are also after me at present because you said not
to pull over as they could be fake policemen trying to kidnap me.

I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I wrote, in anticipation of
the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I
participated in their special e-mail program.
It's weird, though, that my new free cell phone never arrived, and
neither did the passes for my paid vacation to Disneyland.
But I am positive that all this is because of the chain I broke or
forgot to follow and I got a curse.
OOPS I ALMOST FORGOT, IMPORTANT NOTE: If you don't send this e-mail to
at least 1200 people in the next ten seconds, a bird will crap on you tonight at 7:00 PM.

Here's to an even better informed 2005 !