A Cowboy's Guide to Life
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* Don't name a pig you plan to eat.

* Your fences need to be horse high, pig tight and bull strong.

* Life ain't about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.

* Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.

* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered,,,,,,,not yelled.

* Meanness don't jest happen overnight.

* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

* Don't sell your mule to buy a plow.

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

* It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

* You cannot unsay a cruel word.

* Every path has a few puddles.

* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

* The best sermons are lived, not preached.

* Most! of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway

* Don't squat down with your spurs on.

* Don't judge folks by their relatives.

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

* It's better to be a has-been than a never-was.

* The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm.

The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

* If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't.

* It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

* Sometimes you get and sometimes you get got.

* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror every mornin'.

* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

* Don't worry about bitin' off more 'n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.

* Only cows know why they stampede.

* Always drink upstream from the herd.

* If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there with ya.

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

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