I'm afraid it may come to this though it would probably make a few here happy

anyway...... HAPPY NEW YEAR

Subject: Holiday Greetings
I wanted to send out some sort of holiday greeting
to my friends, but it is so difficult in today's
world to know exactly what to say without offending
someone. So I met with my attorney, and on his
advice (and after $1,200 in attorney fees), I wish to
say the following:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit,
my best wishes for an environmentally conscious,
socially responsible, low stress, nonaddictive gender
neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday,
practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the
religious persuasion of your choice, or secular
practices of your choice, with respect for the
religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of
others, or their choice not to practice religious or
secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally
fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of
the onset of the generally accepted calendar
year 2005, but not without due respect for the
calendars of choice of other cultures whose
contributions to society have helped make America
great (not to imply that America is necessarily
greater than any other country or is the only
"AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and
without regard to the race, creed, color, age,
physical ability, religious faith, or sexual
preference of the wishes.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these
terms:
This greeting is subject to clarification or
withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no
alteration to the original greeting. It implies no
promise by the wisher to actually implement any of
the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void
where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole
discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to
perform as expected within the usual application of
good tidings for a period of one year, or until the
issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever
comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of
this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole
discretion of the wisher.
Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of
this message, however, a significant number of
electrons were inconvenienced.