FASHION ADVICE FOR THE OVER 40 SET...

Some of us in the over 40 age group (both men and women) wish to be stylish, but are unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and wonder whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to the current "anything goes" fashion style. Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should definitely be avoided:

1. A nose ring and trifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedo's and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spots
11. Short shorts and varicose veins
12. Inline skates and a walker

And last, but not least... my personal favorite:
13. Thongs and Depends