Snappy Answer #1
> > >
> > > A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate
> > > to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended
> > > her hand for the ticket, and he opened his trench coat
> > > and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said,
> > > "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."
> > >
> > > Snappy Answer #2
> > >
> > > A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the
> > > grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for
> > > her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys
> > > get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am,
> > > they're dead."
> > >
> > > Snappy Answer #3
> > >
> > > The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped
> > > for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been
> > > waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid
> > > replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
> > > When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid
> > > on his way without a ticket.
> > >
> > > Snappy Answer #4
> > >
> > > A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A
> > > sign comes up that reads "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he
> > > knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets
> > > stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
> > > Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of
> > > his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his
> > > hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The
> > > truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge
> > > and ran out of gas."
> > >
> > > Snappy Answer #5
> > >
> > > A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A
> > > single agent was rebooking a long line of
> > > inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger
> > > pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down
> > > on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight
> > > and it has to be FIRST CLASS." The agent replied, "I'm
> > > sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've
> > > got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be
> > > able to work something out." The passenger was
> > > unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers
> > > behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I
> > > AM?"
> > >
> > > Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her
> > > public address microphone. "May I have your attention
> > > please," she began her voice heard clearly throughout
> > > the terminal. "We have a passenger here atGate 14 WHO
> > > DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find
> > > his identity, please come to Gate 14."
> > >
> > > With the folks behind him in line laughing
> > > hysterically, the man glared at the United agent,
> > > gritted his teeth and swore. "F*** you!" Without
> > > flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but
> > > you'll have to get in line for that, too."
> > >
> > > And the VERY BEST snappy answer ....
> > >
> > > Snappy Answer #6,
> > > THE TEACHER Snappy Answer OF THE YEAR
> > >
> > > A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's
> > > final exam.
> > >
> > > "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not
> > > being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack
> > > or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in
> > > your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses
> > > >whatsoever!"
> > >
> > > A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his
> > > hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said
> > > I was suffering from complete and utter sexual
> > > exhaustion?"
> > >
> > > The entire class does its Best to stifle their
> > > laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the
> > > teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes
> > > her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have
> > > to write the exam with your other hand.
> > >