Alone on A Deserted Island
Ed finally decided to take a vacation. He was tired of all the cold and snow in Wisconsin, so he booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life - until the boat sank.

He found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies... Nothing. only bananas and coconuts. After about four months, he was lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen rowed up to him. In disbelief, he asked her, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

"I rowed over from the other side of the island," she said. "I landed here when my cruise ship sank."

"Amazing," he said. "You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you."

"Oh, this?" replied the woman. "I made the rowboat out of raw material found on the island. I whittled the oars from gum tree branches; I wove the bottom from palm branches; and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."

"But-but, that's impossible," stuttered Ed. "You had no tools or hardware." "How did you manage?"

"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the South side of the island, there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware."

Ed was stunned. "Let's row over to my place," she said.

After a few minutes of rowing, she docked the boat at a small wharf. As Ed looked onto shore, he nearly fell out of the boat. Before him was a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, he could only stare ahead, dumbstruck. As they walked into the house, she said casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down please; would you like to have a drink?"

"No, no thank you," he said, still dazed. "Can't take any more coconut juice."

"It's not coconut juice," the woman replied. "I built a still. How about a Pina Colada?"

Trying to hide his continued amazement, he accepted, and they sat down on her hand-woven couch to talk. After they had exchanged their stories, the woman announced, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable". "Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom."

No longer questioning anything, Ed went into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, was a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge were fastened onto its end inside of a swivel mechanism.

"WOW! This woman is amazing," he mused, "what next?"

When he returned, she greeted him wearing 'nothing but vines' strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckoned for him to sit down next to her. "Tell me," she began suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've been out here for a really long time. I know you've been lonely.

There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months. You know..." She stared lovingly, longingly, into his eyes.

He couldn't believe what he was hearing: "You mean---", he swallowed excitedly,

"We can watch the SUPER BOWL from here??!"