I received this one earlier today...
(No offense intended)

Dear Abby:
My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning. When I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse is everyone knows he cheats on me. It is so humiliating! Also, since he lost his job two years ago, he hasn't even looked for a new one.
All he does is sit around the living room in his underwear and watch TV while I work to pay the bills. And since our daughter went away to college he doesn't even pretend to like me.
He keeps calling me a lesbian. What should I do?
Signed, Clueless.
Dear Clueless:
Dump him! You're a New York senator now. You don't need him anymore.