You don't have to own a cat to appreciate this one...

A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They turned on a
night light, turned the answering machine on the phone line, covered their
pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.

They phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived
and the couple opened the front door to leave their house. The cat they had
put out into the yard scoots back into the house. They don't want the cat
shut in the house because "she" always tries to
eat the bird. The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes inside
to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit.
The wife doesn't want the driver to know the house will be empty. She
explains to the taxi driver that her husband will be out soon. "He's
just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother." A few minutes later, the
husband gets into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," he says, as they drive
away.
"Stupid b*tch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat
hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to
keep her from scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her fat as*
downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"
The cabdriver hit a parked car...