Subject: Workman's Comp Claim

BRICKLAYER'S ACCIDENT REPORT. This is a bricklayer's accident report, which
was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers'
Compensation Board. Supposedly, this is a true story.

Dear Sir:
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block
3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my
accident. You asked for a fuller explanation, and I trust the following
details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone
on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work, I found
that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later, were found to be
slightly in excess of 500 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand or
toss them over the edge, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a
pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor.
Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel
out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope,
holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.

You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 175 lbs.
Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my
presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I
proceeded at an impressively rapid rate up the side of the building. In the
vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding
downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull,
minor abrasions, and the broken collar bone as listed in section 3 of the
accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not
stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the
pulley.

Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to
hold tightly to the rope in spite of beginning to experience a great deal of
pain. At approximately the same time as my knickles became wedged in the
pulley, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the
barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed
approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, my
knuckles cleared the pulley and I began a rapid descent down the side of the
building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up.
This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth, and several
lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change
slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen
my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and, fortunately, only three
vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in
pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let
go of the rope. I could only lay there watching the empty barrel begin its
journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your inquiry."

Later.......Rick