Thanks for all your advice... but for THIS time, my builder is coming over this afternoon, and he'll change my battery.

For the record, he was coming anyway to fix a few doors that won't engage properly, change some locks (to which I don't have keys... that's always fun), fix some peeling stucco and tear out the concrete in my garage (just kidding I hope... but it is cracking along the stemwall)

Now excuse me while I browse the personal ads for retired basketball players...
Since I don't really want to get married, I wonder if I could just adopt?