A man went to visit his 90 year-old grandfather in a very secluded,
rural area of the state. After spending the night, his grandfather
prepared breakfast for him consisting of eggs and bacon.
He noticed a film-like substance on his plate and he questioned his
grandfather, "Are these plates clean?" His grandfather replied, "Those
plates are as clean as cold water can get them so go on and finish your
meal."

That afternoon, while eating the hamburgers his grandfather made for
lunch,he noticed tiny specks around the edge of his plate, and a
substance that looked like dried egg yokes so he asked again, "Are you sure these
plates are clean?"

Without looking up from his hamburger, the grandfather says, "I told you
before, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get
them, now don't ask me about it anymore!"

Later that afternoon, as he was on his way out to get the paper, the dog
started to growl and would not let him pass.

"Grandfather, your dog won't let me out."

Without diverting his attention from the football game his Grandfather
was watching, he shouted,

"Coldwater, "Move!"