...that's what I've been telling everyone, too... at which point they usually come back with something along the lines of "Oh yeah... then how come you look like such a schlub?"

So, I've given up on that ruse and moved onto something a little more plausible. Now I tell everyone that I am the owner of the world's largest ball of lint.

I don't get many comps with that one, but I think most people are more impressed than they let on.