Yes, I finally was able to retire after 33 years of federal service. Last week was my last in the office. Today was my retirement luncheon. In celebration I will give the two $5 chips below to the first person with the correct answer to the following question. This is an old one, so someone should get it quickly. All guesses must be posted to the Chipboard in response to this thread. Answers sent to me by email will be disqualified.

What Am I?
This useful tool is commonly found in the range of 7 inches long. The functioning of which is enjoyed by members of both sexes. Is usually found hung, dangling loosely, ready for action. It boasts of a clump of little hairy things at one end and a small hole at the other. In use, it is inserted, almost always willingly, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, into a warm, fleshy, moist opening where it is thrust in and drawn out again and again many times in succession, often quickly and accompanied by squirming bodily movements. Anyone found listening in will most surely recognize the rhythmic, pulsing sound, resulting from the well lubricated movements. When finally withdrawn, it leaves behind a juicy, frothy, sticky white substance, some of which will need cleaning from the outer surfaces of the opening and some from its long glistening shaft. After everything is done and the flowing and cleansing liquids have ceased emanating, it is returned to its freely hanging state of rest, ready for yet another bit of action, hopefully reaching its bristling climax twice or three times a day, but often much less.
What Am I?