September 11 2002

A f***ing year has passed. And for everyone I know, it's been a year of death, a year of pain, a year of fear. It's been a year we are all anxious to see go.

I plan to spend September 12, 2002 toasting life. I want to dance naked on my balcony, wife in my arms, and scream to death "NO MORE! You had your year! You made us fear you! We will live like this no more!"

It's probably not true that the past 12 months have been more horrid than any other year. It's probably just that our perceptions were re-aligned last September 11 to look for death, for fear, for hate, and for horror - and to attach significance to them once we found them.

As each of us grows older, those things grip us more. We might normally shrug them off, clinging to youth and life. But for the past 12 months, we've been attuned to death. And every new ache, pain, or visit to the doctor has been a symptom of it. Every death in the family has been a sign of a more universal death. Every turn of season has left us fearing it might be our last. But I've had my fill!

F*** you death! F*** you Osama! As of today, if you want to kill me, or kill my spirit, you had better come and get me. If you want to see fear, you had better outdo yourself. You've set quite the bar. A year ago today you wrought unimaginable havoc, and I have survived. My family has survived. My nation has survived. My belief system has survived. New York City has survived! And while far too many died at your hands a year ago today, their families, belief systems, and nation have survived with me. And today may finally be the day we can look at our survival, and your failure, and once again feel free to feel free.

Death will hit us again. If it is lucky, it may get me sooner, rather than later. But it has had its moment in the sun. From this day on, I will no longer fear it.

I will not relive this year. I will no longer see death when I stare at a skyline, or an airplane in flight.

I know that life prevails. And life is for the living. And I will live.