A man appears before the pearly gates.
"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?"
St. Peter asks.

"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offers.
"Once I came upon a
gang
of high-testosterone bikers who were threatening a
young woman.
I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't
listen. So I
approached the largest and most heavily tattooed
biker. I smacked him
on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his
nose ring and threw
it
on the ground, and told him, ' Leave her alone now or
you'll answer to
me.'"

St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?"

"A couple of minutes ago."