Lest you think I blaspheme my great great granddaddy was pure Irish--then he went and threw away his life by marrying a Scottish lass.

OK so it is blasphemous depending on your view--it's still funny.

There once was a proud Irishman named Pat, who went to heaven and saw St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asked, "Who are you?"
> > >
Pat replied, "My name is Pat, I'm an Irishman, born on St.
Patrick's Day, died on St. Patrick's Day, marching in the St.
Patrick's Day parade."
> > >
St. Peter said to Pat: "Yes, this is true! Here's a little
green cloud for you to drive around heaven in and here is a
harp that, when you push this button here, will play 'When
Irish Eyes Are Smiling.' Enjoy it, Pat. Have a good time in
heaven."
> > >
Pat jumps on his little green cloud, punches the button, and
heads out with a smile on his face and a song in his heart.
> > >
He's having a wonderful time in heaven, driving his little
green cloud round. But on the third day, he's driving down
Expressway H-1 with the harp playing full blast when, all of
a sudden, a Jewish man in a pink and white two-tone cloud
with tail fins roars past him. And in the back of this cloud
is an organ which is playing all sorts of celestial music.
> > >
Pat makes a U-turn right in the middle of the Heaven
Expressway and charges back to the Pearly Gates. He says,
"St. Peter, my name is Pat, I'm a proud Irishman. I was born
on St. Patrick's Day, died on St. Patrick's Day, marching' in
the St. Patrick's Day parade. I come up here to heaven and I
get this tiny, insignificant little
green cloud and this little harp that plays only one song,
'When Irish Eyes Are Smiling.' But, there's a Jew over there.
He's got a big, beautiful pink and white two-tone cloud and a
huge organ that plays all kinds of celestial music and I, Pat
the Irishman, want to know why!"

St. Peter stands up from his desk. He leans over and motions
Pat the Irishman to come closer. Then he says: "Pat, shush!
He's the Boss's Son!