The Old Man and the Jar

An 85-year-old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The
doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a
semen sample tomorrow."

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and
gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The
doctor asked what happened and the man explained:

"Well, doc, it's like this - First I tried with my right hand, but
nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked
my
wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing.
She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth
out, and still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and
she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit and she even tried
squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"

The old man replied, "Yep. And no matter what we tried, we still
couldn't get the jar open."