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>From: "mavrik _"
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>Subject: Fwd: Apology To China
>Date: Tue, 01 May 2001 12:55:12 -0400
>X-OriginalArrivalTime: 01 May 2001 16:55:13.0032 (UTC)
>FILETIME=[7D2ED080:01C0D25F]
>
>I never forward. THIS is FUNNY AS HELL.
>----------------------
>
>Dear China,
>
>We're sorry that you don't train your fighter pilots better. As a token
>of our apology, here's a copy of Microsoft Flight Simulator 2000. (Please
>take note of the Copyright)
>
>We're sorry that your front-line fighter planes can't outmaneuver a 35
>year old prop-driven airliner. Perhaps you'd like to consider purchasing
>some surplus 1950s era Lockheed Starfighters from Taiwan. (We just
>replaced all theirs with shiny new F- 16's)
>
>We're sorry his aircraft recognition skills were so poor he didn't realize
>the EP-3 aircraft was propeller driven and flew his aircraft through its
>propeller arc, destroying his aircraft and nearly killing 24 American crewmen.
>
>We're sorry that you believe your territorial waters extend all the way to
>Australia. For future reference, here's an American 6th grade geography
>textbook. (Please take note of the Copyright information printed inside
>the cover.)
>
>We're sorry we have to fly surveillance missions to monitor a country that
>has nuclear missiles pointed at us.
>
>We're sorry your fighter pilot's survival training and equipment was so
>inadequate that he couldn't survive until your poorly trained and equipped
>navy could find him (they turned down our offer for search and rescue
>assistance).
>
>We're sorry you violated international law and arrested the crewmen of an
>aircraft that legally diverted into your airfield under emergency
>conditions caused by your pilot's actions.
>
>We're sorry you violated international law and boarded a state aircraft.
>
>We're sorry that you can't seem to see your part of this incident. We
>know that it may seem easier to blame others than to take
>responsibility. Consider this fact while we build several new Aegis
>destroyers for our friends in the Republic of China (Taiwan).
>
>We're especially sorry for treating you with such respect for the last 20
>years. We will definitely rethink this policy and probably go back to
>treating you like a common, untrustworthy street gang very soon.
>
>We're very sorry for ever granting you Most-Favored-Nation trading status
>and supporting your entrance into the World Trade Organization. This will
>be rectified at the soonest possible opportunity.
>
>We're sorry the world is now seeing you for the enemy of freedom, truth,
>and democracy that you really are.
>
>We're sorry you see yourself as a superpower when in reality you are a
>third world nation (the average Chinese worker earns less than 10 cents a day).
>
>We're sorry you are losing so much face over this.
>
>We're sorry that you were able to steal missile and nuclear secrets from us.
>
>We're sorry you haven't learned from the Soviet Union's collapse and
>failed to embrace democracy and capitalism (compare tiny Taiwan and
>mainland China; same people, same culture, but Taiwan's capitalistic
>economy is a powerhouse and China's economy is still mired in communism).
>
>And most of all, we're sorry for the Chinese people who suffer its
>leaders' incompetence.
>
>Sincerely,
>The United States of America
>
>PS... Kiss our ass.