Several new viruses have been discovered and are wreaking havoc throughout the national system. Beware of....
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THE ALGORE Virus.... (Causes your computer to just keep counting and counting)
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THE CLINTON Virus.... (Gives you a 7-Inch Hard Drive with NO memory)
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THE BOB DOLE (aka: VIAGRA) virus... (Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy)
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THE LEWINSKY virus... (Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then Emails everyone about what it did)
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THE RONALD REAGAN virus.... (Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored)
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THE MIKE TYSON virus.... (Quits after two bytes)
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THE OPRAH WINFREY virus.... (Your 300mb hard drive shrinks to 100mb, then slowly expands to restabilize around 200mb)
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THE JACK KEVORKIAN virus... (Deletes all old files)
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THE ELLEN DEGENERES virus... (Disks can no longer be inserted)
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THE PROZAC virus... (Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care)
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THE JOEY BUTTAFUOCO virus... (Only attacks minor files)
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THE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER virus... (Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back)
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...and my personal favorite...
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THE LORENA BOBBITT virus... (Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows)
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IF anyone is offended by my post, pleasel let me know and I will delete it.