I have to give a deposition in a very involved case next week & I was reading some examples of similar testimony given in courtrooms around the country. I swear that these are actual examples I found.
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year.
A: Every year!
--------------------------------------
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what way does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget! Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
--------------------------------------
Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
--------------------------------------
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice?
A: No, this is how I dress for work.
--------------------------------------
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All of my autopsies are performed on dead people.
--------------------------------------
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr.Dennington was dead at the time?
A: NO, He was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
--------------------------------------
Q: Doctor, are you qualified to give a urine sample?
--------------------------------------
This has to be the best line of testimony yet!
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breath sounds?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But the patient could have been alive nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive & practicing law somewhere!