Richard Nixon, Jimmy Carter, and Bill Clinton are on the
Titanic. When it starts to sink Carter yells, "quick, save the women
and children!" Nixon: "screw the women and children." Clinton: "do
we have time?"

Dan Quayle, Newt Gingrich and Bill Clinton get caught up in a
tornado and transported to the yellow brick road, where they
make their way to the Wizard of Oz. The Wizard asks what each wants.
"I want a brain," says Quayle; "I want a heart", says Gingrich.
"where's dorothy ?" asks Clinton.

What advice did Arafat give to Clinton? "Sheep don't talk, my
friend."

What did Clinton say when he heard Paula Jones was speaking to
the press? "Now she opens her mouth"

What's the definition of an Arkansas virgin? Any woman who can
run faster than the governor.

What does Bill Clinton say to Hillary after sex ? "hi honey, i'll
be home in 20 minutes."

What's the similarity between Bill Clinton and a carpenter? One
screw in the wrong place and the whole cabinet falls apart.

Do you know why Clinton doesn't play his saxophone anymore?
'Cause he is playing with his horemonika.

Clinton is sitting in the Oval Office when one of his aides
comes rushing in... "Mr. President, sir, what are we going to do
about this abortion bill?" "Just pay it" says the president.

A question for Bill Clinton: "what was Miss Lewinsky's most
memorable feature?" Answer: "she has the whitest teeth I've ever
come across"

Hillary Clinton's new name: Cleopatra - queen of denial

Why does Bill drink so much coffee and coca-cola? He is required
to "stay up" for many hours to satisfy the needs of his staff.

What is Clinton's new secret service code name? Unibanger

If Clinton gets impeached, it will actually be the first time a
president was blown out of the White House.

What does Monica Lewinsky have on her resume? "Sat on the
presidential staff "