This is written supposedly by Dennis Leary, and it's the best chain
>>letter
>>I have ever read.
>>
>>
>>Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare
>>and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity,
>>fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt
>>for not forwarding out 50 billion #####ing chain letters sent to me
>>by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that
>>poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will
>>be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her
>>redneck parents sell her off to the travelling freak show.
>>
>>Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and
>>everyone you send "his" email to $1000? How stupid are you?
>>Ooooh,
>>lookyhere! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get
>>laid by every Playboy model in the magazine! What a bunch of bull#####.
>>So basically, this message is a big ##### YOU to all the people out
>>there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail
>>forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into
>>my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the
>>chain which was started by Jesus in 5 A.D. and was brought to this
>>country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the
>>year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest
>> continuous streak of blatant stupidity.
>>
>> ##### them.
>> If you're going to forward something, at least send me something
>> mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your
>> closest friends, and an amazing wretched excuse for a human being will
>> somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards
>> about 90 times.
>>
>> I don't #####ing care.
>>
>> Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually
>> contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's your
>> own unpopularity.
>>
>> THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
>>
>>
>> ----------------- Chain Letter Type 1:---------------------
>>
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>> (scroll down)
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>> Make a wish!!!
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>> No, really, go on and make one!!!
>>
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>> Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!! Wish something
>> else!!!
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>> Is your finger getting tired yet?
>>
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>> STOP!!!!
>>
>> Wasn't that fun? :)
>>
>> Hope you made a great wish :)
>>
>>Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do.
>>First of all, if you don't send this to 5096 people in the
>>next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and thrown off a
>> high building into a pile of manure.
>>
>> It's true! Because, THIS letter isn't like all of those
>> fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!!
>>
>> Really!!!
>>
>>Here's how it goes:
>>
>> Send this to 1 person: One person will be #####ed off at you
>> for sending them a stupid chain letter.
>>
>> Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be #####ed off at
>> you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
>>
>> Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be #####ed off at
>> you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on
>> your life.
>>
>> Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be #####ed off
>> at you for sending them a stupid chain letter and will firebomb your
>> house.
>>
>> Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
>>
>>
>> -------------------------------Chain Letter Type 2
>>
>> Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see,
>> there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no
>> arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats.
>>
>> This little boy's life could be saved, because for every
>> time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving
>> Legless
>> Armless
>> Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Oh, and
>> remember, we have absolutely no way of counting the emails sent and this
>> is all a complete load of bull#####.
>>
>> So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds.
>>
>> Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6
>> people, you will die instantly. Thanks again!!
>>
>> --------------------------------Chain Letter Type 3
>>
>> Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897.
>> This is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and
>> probably not as many sad pricks with nothing better to do. So this is
>> how it works:
>>
>> Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something
>> horrible will happen to you like:
>>
>> *Bizarre Horror Story #1
>> Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday.
>> She had recently recieved this letter and ignored it. She then
>> tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down
>> a drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall.
>> Not only did she smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!!
>>
>> *Bizarre Horror Story #2
>> Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his
>> mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was
>> his boyfriend (hey, some people swing that way) They both died
>> and went to hell and were cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for
>> eternity. This Could Happen To You Too!!!
>>
>> Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip. Just send
>> this letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be
>> okay.
>>
>> --------------------------------Chain Letter Type 4:
>> As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to
>> every one of your friends.
>>
>> Friends
>>
>> A friend is someone who is always at your side,
>>
>> A friend is someone who likes you even though you stink of #####,
>> and your breath smells like you've been eating catfood,
>>
>> A friend is someone who likes you even though you're as ugly
>> as a hat full of assholes,
>>
>> A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've
>> soiled yourself,
>>
>> A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you
>> cry about your sad, sad life,
>>
>> A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think
>> you should be raped by mad chimpanzees, then thrown to vicious dogs,
>>
>> A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then gets the
>> check and leaves and doesn't speak much English...* no,
>>
>> sorry that's the cleaning lady,
>>
>> A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he
>> wants his wish of being rich to come true.
>>
>>Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll never have sex ever again.
>>
>>------------------------------------------------------
>>
>>The point being?
>>
>>If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave
>>you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.
>>
>>If it's funny, send it on.
>>
>>Don't ##### people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in
>>Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for 27
>>years, whose only saviour is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive
>>if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up like Miranda.
>>
>>Right?
>>
>>Now forward this to everyone you know otherwise you'll have to look
>>at me naked!
>>
>> Remember:
>> "There are no stupid questions, just stupid people." -Mr. Garrison.
>>
>>
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