I was only joking!!!

Lets see: A new player: HMMMMMM:

Play high cards and connected suited cards.
If you don't flop top pair or a big draw. IE: 2 pair, flush draw, straight draw.
Muck it.
Do not chase with a flop that gives you 2nd pair unless you have the draw.
Play any pair before the flop unless there is a raise.
Flop a set, play.
Flop over pair, play.
Flop cards are bigger than your pair, muck it.