Dear Mr.Susong:
Due to circumstances far beyond my human control, money, bribes, threats, pleadings, feigning illnesses of all kinds, hurricane warnings, famine & other such natural & un-natural disasters, I will not be attending this year's convention. In a feeble attempt to console, molify, cajole, placate, & show pity, my dear, independently wealthly wife will be taking me on a day cruise on the HMS Contessa on Father's Day. It ain't Vegas, but the ship does have their own roulettes.